Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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