Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
