Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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