As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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