You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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