hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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