I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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