I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
