her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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