You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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