"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
