Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
