I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
