do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
