That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We have started to decorate penises.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
