Plan B is the new Plan A
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
