Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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