The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize