he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
