girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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