some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
