Got a toothbrush?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
