he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
