So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
