I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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