she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
