I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
