Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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