im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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