im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize