Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
