No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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