doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
