Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize