Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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