After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
