it hurts more in the daytime
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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