And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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