He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize