Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
