It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
