I think im going to throw up on grandma
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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