don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
