She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
