R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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