I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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