then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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