Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
