So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
