he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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