my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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