I was born with a shot glass in my hand
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
did i just pee glitter
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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