Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
