Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
