Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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