He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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