Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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