I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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