R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
