If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.