An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
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You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
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We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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