I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.