I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him