My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.