Just fell off a train. Bad.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
