I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
